This is a trip report from July of 2022 because it's taken me this long to stop being lazy.
We wrapped up work in Udine a few days before my scheduled flight home from Munich, so I took the chance to take the slow route into the Alps and visit a couple places in Austria on my way. I took a bus from Udine to Villach, and then a train from there to Salzburg. On the bus, I sat next to a nice lady (hereafter referred to as the Romanian Witch) that was quiet the entire time sitting at the bus station but almost immediately started hacking and wet-coughing into her kerchief the moment the bus pulled out of the terminal. Mind you this was just at the tail end of COVID controlling the world. Masks were intermittently required in public places - and on this particular bus it was mask-optional so of course I wanted to be cool and also go mask free.
At one point we passed over some river or another and it seemed like she was trying to get my attention in a language I absolutely did not recognize. In hindsight, I assume it was at this point where she was hexing me with her old world curse.
The bus terminated in Villach so I stowed my stuff in a small locker at the train station and took a little gander around. It was a cute little place and my sonar system brought me straight to the Villacher Brauerei and their modestly-sized biergarten. I had a local helles and some delicious gamey stew. Then another helles and hoofed it back to the train station for the 7pm train to Salzburg.
I'd booked a room at das Johannes-Schlößl Gästehaus which was perched up on a mesa on the old-town side of the Salzach. Getting there afforded me some gorgeous night shots of the river, bridges, and Hohensalzburg castle on the hill. The guesthouse was incredible. The rooms were small and maybe if it was really crowded it could be loud since it's old walls and whathaveyou. But for the nights I was there, I can't imagine a nicer escape from the crowd while still feeling in fairytale land.
First day in Salzburg
As suggested by the host in the guesthouse, I took the foot path from Johannes-Schlossl and, staying up on the hill, headed generally toward the Hohensalzburg Fortress. This provided me a fantastic view of the architecture in the old town and non-stop photo ops of the fortress. In particular, the Richterhohe was a great vista point (and I don't think named after the Richter of seismic fame). At the fortress, I took the pedestrian route up (chaperoned by the fortress kitty) and the funicular down. The tour of the fortress is cool -- a lot of history of the city of which I was completely ignorant of before and now only somewhat ignorant of after a few years. Walking down from the base of the Hohensalzburg, I passed Restaurant Stiegl-Keller - a narrow restaurant clinging to the side of the hill. I got lunch and a few pints of Stiegl Helles. I was enjoying the food and beer I didn't take any photos but this one with my phone -- but the place is really quite beautiful so if you find yourself in Salzburg, uhhh, you should go I guess.
After the late lunch, I putzed around the old town a little more with some sightseeing. Then slowly worked back toward the guesthouse on the climb back up the hill.
Augustinerbräu, cows, and sunsets
I took just a short rest back at Johannes-Schlossl before heading back down the hill for dinner at Augustinerbräu. I guess this wasn't peak tourist season and/or peak locals time to be out because the place was kind of empty. But for me it was a great chance to unselfconsciously poke around all beer halls indoors. It was so awesome that there were multiple floors of multiple gigantic beer halls in this place. The food setup was pretty neat; one hallway of several options of small kitchens before heading outside for the main biergarten. I'm never ever going to complain that there's too much good beer in California because there are few things I love more than the craft brew scene here. BUT. There is something really magical in a place that either sells 1 beer and the only option is whether you get 1 L or 0.5. In this place, you pay for the size of beer you want, pull a mug off the wall, do a quick rinse in the fountain, and then hand it to a guy that fills it from a wooden cask. Yeah, I loved it.
So it was with that extremely good mood I found myself in the fields outside the guesthouse with the grazing cows clanging their bells, a cool evening breeze blowing over the Mönchsberg, and the golden hour at the foot of the alps. I stood around with those cows for longer than propriety dictates but it was a great wind down to a great day. Back at the guest house I found a sign for the 'Stuberl' which I've no idea what it means but there was a fridge full of beer that was on the honor system to keep track of how many you took when you checked out. I got 1 more beer and sat in the plaza in the middle of the guest house until it was cool enough to get into the room for bed.
Second day in Salzburg
I woke up day 2 in Salzburg feeling a little less ok than I thought I should have (yes even in spite of having multiple beers through the day). I figured I was just not used to that much walking, the altitude, and of course the beer. I went back to the old town for a few more platzs that I'd not stopped at the day before. Then crossed the bridge into the 'new town' to find Mozart's birthplace and the Mirabell Palace. Nothing much to say, it was fun to see the places and all the Sound of Musicesque buildings. But my energy was beginning to wane so I didn't explore all that much beyond the big tourist draws.
I crossed back over the river, walked some iconic narrow streets, and found lunch at Bärenwirt for some classic brats and sauerkraut. After lunch I was feeling even worse so I figured I'd stay close to the guesthouse and just peek around more of the building. Worked my way up to the widows peak, took some photos, then chilled in my room until nearly sunset when I convinced myself to get back outside for just a few more photos.
Heading home: the witch returns
Following photo op with my only selfie in Salzburg (maybe the last time I smiled for a week), I got back to the room and really began to feel like garbage. At the start of June when we left for Marco's wedding, the policy in the US was that you had to show a negative COVID test prior to departure back stateside. So me, Peggy, and Cindy all had brought 2 test kits. Halfway through our time in Italy though, that policy updated and the testing was no longer required. I still had my kit on me so figured I'd at least test for this just in case, because I was not feeling at all ok. The result was negative and I did not pry into the validity. I tried to force myself to bed but was achy as hell and fell asleep for only some fitful tumbles.
I took off for the airport before sunrise in case it was going to take me a while with the condition I was in. I only felt worse and worse during the train ride to Munich. I got to the airport a few hours early and found a bench to put my head between my legs and take deep, relaxing breaths to try and come back to life. While sitting there cradling my head in my hands, I began to wonder when I got infected because in Italy, we worked indoors and all of us stayed masked up. It's possible that it was from someone in Salzburg, but I was mostly outside and didn't think a day or two was enough time for the viral load to reach this level of torture. Then it hit me and I could almost hear the cackling echo of that Romanian Bus Witch. This had to have come from that hex-19 she put on me in the bus as we drove through the Alps!
Reaching that conclusion was in no way a comfort to the aches that were racking my body, nor the cold sweats that were prompting me to bring up my breakfast, but at least I could place blame at someone else's feet - which is all we really need in this world isn't it?
The other half of my dwindling conscience was really leaning into that negative test from the night before. It just so happens that the second kit I had was accidentally thrown in the garbage before I could use it. Plausible deniability, people!
Long story short, the flight was torture. As my body attempted to eat itself alive, I was stuck in a too-small airplane passenger seat for more than 12 hours. Really, just torture. I did wear a mask, and I did do my best to keep from coughing too many wet witch coughs onto the poor kids around me.